


when he was forgotten

by iseemikimouse



Series: The Friend [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Like a really big hug, Slightly Depressing Thoughts, blaming oneself when the situation isn't their fault, buuuut...., give him lots of love, hyunjin is an art student and a sweetheart, i promise they mean well, interesting characters in this, please be a little cautious if this makes you upset, someone please give hyunjin a hug, stray kids are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 15:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19359985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iseemikimouse/pseuds/iseemikimouse
Summary: Hyunjin is finally getting out of his apartment after days of being cooped up and working on a project. He's finally going to be seeing a movie with Felix and damn it, he's excited for it. So excited.





	when he was forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> so hello. 
> 
> i know that i really should be working on wtca but this was on my mind for a while yesterday and here we are. i almost didn't want to write it as this SERIES (it's a series y'all. a wonderful angsty sad little series that is being written) kinda hits close to home. while i have not experienced some of these things that i put hyunjin through, his thought process is definitely mine. so please be patient with me if it gets to be a little much.
> 
> i think that's all for this so i hope you enjoy. also thank danielle for choosing a number and the number being the one to post this. thank you ma'am.

Hyunjin smiles brightly as he gets dressed, a soft song falling from his lips. He feels like maybe he’s flying because _shit_ , he’s been cooped up in his apartment for days and he’s finally getting out of the house, if only for a few hours. He and Felix had been planning on meeting and going to the movies since _Rampage_ appeared in theaters, and if Hyunjin could see Dwayne Johnson in all of his rock hard body glory, it would be so worth it. 

He thinks about sending a text to Felix to confirm their outing, but the thought leaves his mind the moment it came. He’s running late. 

Hyunjin needs to pick a shirt that doesn’t have any paint stains on it. The last time he it had happened, Seungmin and Jeongin wouldn’t stop laughing at how ridiculous the shirt looked. At first, he didn’t understand what was happening, but he followed along, laughing with the others. 

He looks in the mirror to make sure he looks presentable to which, he supposes he does, before bolting out of his apartment, his key in hand. 

The excitement fills his mind to the brim as he thinks of all the scenarios the movie might go through, but he can’t settle on one. Instead, he thinks of plotlines similar to the old King Kong movies and wonders if that’s what the movie was going to be.

He hopes not. 

He wants a story different from King Kong and one that tells its own, but Hyunjin supposes he can’t have everything he wants. 

But the story isn’t what he’s truly excited for, it’s the location and the actual creatures themselves. Massive fantasy creatures has been the next set images he’s been wanting to draw as of late. His notebooks have been filled to the brim with ideas of animals he has never seen before, fusions of deers and lions, creatures who look innocent but are incredibly vicious. Beware the cute and cuddly ones as they have fangs longer than people’s arms. 

His mind has been filled with creative ideas, and with Felix being the creative writer out of all of his friends, he’s been waiting to meet with him. If Hyunjin could bring the creatures to life in drawings and paintings, then Felix would be able to bring out the creature’s personality. He’d be the one to paint the settings and pictures with words that Hyunjin wishes he could. 

Hyunjin vibrates in his seat on the subway when he pauses for a couple of moments. When did he get on the subway? Was his mind so caught up in creating worlds with Felix again, that he didn’t notice the world around him? He blinks before shrugging his shoulders, his elation returns. Every bone in his body _thrums_ at the prospect of creating a new world with one of his favorite people in the universe. 

His mind continues to reel with different creatures, but he stops himself from getting too far as he doesn’t want to miss his stop. He’s already unsure on how he’s gotten onto the subway, there’s no way for him to miss his station and maybe his movie. He can’t have that. 

Quietly, he hums to himself, the smile staying on his face. His gaze watching the underground world fly by. He hears people murmuring and sees a couple of girls giggling and pointing to him. He usually doesn’t pay any attention to them, but the thought of having paint on his shirt again is enough for him to look down at the paint free white shirt and check for the millionth time. He sees nothing and looks up, the giggling girls giggling a little harder than before. He sends them a small smile and forces himself not to look at them again. 

He keeps his attention on his phone, the device devoid of any texts. He says nothing in the group chat as he doesn’t want to bother anyone with his anticipation as he’s about to see Felix. He clicks through a couple of social media apps, smiling at the pictures of his friends’ posts and seeing the amount of attention they continue to get. 

Honestly, he’s a little jealous as his friends are completely and utterly gorgeous, while he’s in the background, nothing more than another face. And while it hurts, he’s also kind of glad he’s not in the spotlight. He’d go crazy but he too wants a little attention. 

For a couple of seconds, he looks up into the window across from where he’s sitting, his reflection looking back at him. He sees floppy black hair with curly ends. His eyes are a little too small for his liking and his lips a little to thick. He’s okay with his appearance no matter how many times people compliment his looks. He’s just average compared to the shining eyes of Jeongin and the galaxy spread across Felix’s face. 

He looks back down, his fingers scrolling to a picture of Changbin, Jisung, and Chan all standing together, bright smiles on their faces as they pose to the camera. The image warms his heart enough to where he double taps on the image and wonders why he can’t leave more than one like. Their smiles warm his inside as he grins goofily back at the picture before clearing his throat and remembering he’s on the subway.

He hears his station being called as the next stop. He stands, smiles to the giggling girls again, and gets off when the subway stops. He has to physically prevent himself from skipping up the steps to his waiting place. He cards through throngs faces he does recognize, some people bumping into him and some avoiding him like the plague. 

When he can finally see the sunlight and hear chattering which is quiet, a large grin blooms on his face. It’s almost time. 

He doesn’t have to walk far, the meeting place only a couple of blocks from the station. He keeps his eyes forward no matter how hard it is to look to the side and see different people walking around or the buildings he wants to draw. His mind begins to fill with fantasy places, and what if this section of Seoul was back in the wild with trees filling up? Creatures of ancient stories trot down gravel filled streets and… 

 _Snap out of it Hwang Hyunjin. You can paint later,_ he tells himself. 

The meeting place comes to view, a square filled with people all around. Some walk through, their heads back with laughter as they walk with their friends, while some walk quickly through with their heads down. A gaggle of people stands near a fountain, the same one Hyunjin needs to get to. Most of them stand there talking, one person’s hand waving in the air as they tell a story Hyunjin doesn’t pay any attention to. 

He looks in awe at the fountain for a moment, his eyes watching how water falls from the wall of grey marble. A small basket of water sits in the high center, letting the water overflow from the top, creating a waterfall effect that has Hyunjin’s mind rushing around again. He smiles when he sits down and looks to his phone again. 

Felix hasn’t texted him just yet, but there’s still time. More than a couple of hours until the movie starts, really. Both of them had agreed on getting something to eat before the film as it would help save some money on the concession food. 

With nothing to look at, his phone proving to be boring at the moment, he lets himself turn around and look back at the fountain. He immerses himself into thinking of a beautiful design. His mind’s eye sees a garden (maybe a secret one) with flowers (roses?) all around him. He sees only a couple of birds flying around and perhaps a little boy or girl sitting down at table playing a game. 

The scene is beautiful in his head, a splash of vibrant colors, perfect for the days of spring that are slowly approaching. 

He keeps the scene in his mind, hoping not to forget a single detail which proves harder than he thought because was the apple on the table supposed to be a little fantastical in color or not? How about the sky? Was it supposed to be blue or a series of pinks and yellows to signify a setting sun? Hyunjin thinks he can make things up as he goes. He just needs to remember the actual scene itself, and everything else will come back to him. 

He kicks his legs as he continues to wait, this time, his attention turning on the people walking in front of him. He plays a small game with himself to pass the time, wondering where each person is going to based on the speed of their walks. An old woman strolls, a small smile on her face as they both watch a group of young kids rush by, shouting Hyungwon is it. He sees a couple all wrapped up in each other that they don’t see the disgust or maybe the jealousy that the lady across the street is giving them. Hyunjin chuckles. 

Again he checks his phone to notice it’s passed the meeting time of when he and Felix are going to go and eat. With a frown on his face, he calls Felix to ask where the other man is but there’s no answer on the other line. 

 _Maybe he’s getting dressed_ , Hyunjin tells himself. Felix is known to take a little bit. 

He goes back to people watching creating stories for a few more couples and another set of kids. The time passes without a care in the world, but Hyunjin begins to feel anxious. 

Felix is nowhere to be seen, nor is he answering his phone. 

He can’t help the little bubble of panic that releases itself when he notices he’s been waiting for the past three hours without any sign of Felix. Maybe something horrible happened to his friend, and he can’t reach the phone currently. 

That can’t be right. 

Felix is one of the most careful people he’s ever known. He’s not going to be an idiot to get himself hurt but the big ‘WHAT IF’ hangs over his shoulder. It’s that ‘WHAT IF’ that has him calling Changbin but the same thing, there’s no answer. It doesn’t help his growing panic as he tries again and still no response. 

 _Breathe Hyunjin_ , he tells himself. _Changbin has been saying he’s going to lock himself in the studio and you know how he is when it happens._

Hyunjin calls Chan, the only sensible elder friend Hyunjin has (and as much as he wants to include Woojin in the mix, the oldest of their friend group is just as crazy as the others. It was Woojin who decided to go skinny dipping at three in the morning before walking around their hotel in the nude. Hyunjin didn’t partake in the event, it was supposed to be a wild night, he’s told). 

Chan answers with a loud laugh and even louder words. He’s drunk?  

“Hyung,” Hyunjin says quietly, “have you talked to Felix?” 

Chan giggles. Definitely drunk. “Yeah. He’s supposed to be with Changbin. Something about being in the studio.” 

“Oh. Neither one of them are answering their phones. Fel-” 

“You know the two of them,” Chan cuts him off, his voice a little bitter. “They’re probably okay and doing some stupid shit the both of them. I’d try calling them tomorrow if you need.” 

Hyunjin opens his mouth to say something before closing it and nodding quietly. He remembers Chan can’t see him and answers verbally. The older man doesn’t stay on the phone much long, Chan shutting the call down when he hears his name in the background. 

For a moment, Hyunjin stares at his phone and wonders if Felix was even going to come at all. For a long depressing few moments, he thinks Felix is going to stand him up like one of those dates you only read about, but this is Felix, one of his best friends and he’s never done something like this before. 

 _You liar, he has._  

Hyunjin pushes away the nasty voice in his head and continues to wait. His mind this time doesn’t want to create anything and instead wants to focus on the fact Felix isn’t here just yet and maybe he really isn’t coming. 

A wave of sadness and disappointment fill his body as he calls Felix one last time before finally giving up.

He won’t let himself cry as he begins to blame himself for this situation. He should have called Felix to remind him of their plans earlier in the day like he said he was going to. He gets angry but not at Felix, never at Felix, but at himself because _you’re stupid Hyunjin. You should have called._

He looks to the time and sees the movie would be just about done, his heart breaking all over again. With a quiet sigh, he stands from his spot, his body a little sore from sitting in the same place for a few hours now, was it five or six? He doesn’t know. 

His stomach growls wanting food, but Hyunjin doesn’t want to chew anything. Instead, he wants to yell at Felix for not letting him know that he wasn’t coming, but the little helpful voice in the back of his mind tells him once again that before he left his apartment, he should have called. But at this point, there’s no reason to get upset at anything. Shit happens, and that’s what happened today, right? 

Right?

He walks into a convenience store to grab a couple of kimbap rolls, his stomach grumbling happily in the process. He checks his phone to see if there are any messages from Felix or even Changbin in this case, but there’s nothing, and his phone remains still. He stuffs his mouth with food and looks to his social media platforms again. 

There are new pictures up, a couple of them being from people he hasn’t talked to since he left high school a couple of years ago. He smiles faintly at the pictures, liking a couple of them. He continues to scroll when he comes across one of a grinning Chan who looks positively drunk. He poses with his fingers into a V shape as other people surround him and copy his pose. 

This time, the smiling picture doesn’t leave Hyunjin feeling warm like it had earlier. Instead, his body grows cold at the sight. He counts the people in the photo a couple of times but there’s mistaking it. 

Eight faces. 

Eight faces including Felix and Changbin. 

 _He was able to get Changbin out of the studio,_ he thinks before freezing at his thoughts. No that’s not right. 

Had they been there the whole time? 

They should have called if they saw Hyunjin had been calling them for the past few hours but nothing. He was left with radio silence when he called, and that’s all there is to it. 

He blinks a couple of times when it finally clicks that all of his friends are there. Had he missed something? He exits out of the app to check his messages or even the group chat inviting everyone out but there’s nothing. No new messages in any of his chatrooms. A sinking feeling travels to his gut but he pushes it away and leaves his messages again. 

He taps his phone a couple of times, finally settling on calling Felix once more just to see, and after six hours of calling and getting no answer, Felix _finally_ answers, his greeting just as loud as Chan’s had been a couple of hours ago. 

“Felix!” Hyunjin squeaks not expecting a giggly man. He’s also drunk? “Where have you been?” 

Felix continues to giggle. “I’m sorry, Jinnie,” he hiccups. “Binnie Binnie Changbinnie had called me to the studio earlier. Why?” 

Hyunjin wants to cry. “We had our movie today.” 

“Movie?” Felix pauses before gasping and giggling some more. “Rampage! I had forgotten! I’m sorry.” 

Hyunjin opens and closes his mouth in surprise, his mind berating him for not calling Felix earlier in the day. Stupid Hwang Hyunjin, you should have. But there’s a part of his mind, the more rational part of it, telling him it’s not his fault Felix had forgotten about their friend date. Felix had known about it for such a long time as the two of have continuously been talking about seeing giant creatures and Dwayne Johnson. 

“I’ll make it up to you!” Felix yells into the phone again. “I promise. This time, you can pick the movie and the place to eat,” he giggles at something Hyunjin can’t see. “Okay?”

But the rational part of his mind always gets shut down by the mellower side, the one that pins all the blame on Hyunjin. 

So with a tight smile and tears being swallowed, he answers. “Sure but don’t worry about it, Lix,” he says (lies). “I had to paint anyways.” (Lies).

Felix laughs. “You’re always painting Jinnie! You should take a break from painting and come hang out with us sometime.” 

“Maybe I should,” he says, wincing when he hears his voice cracking at the end. Felix doesn’t notice it. 

“But not now!” Felix yells. “Woojin hyung is cutting us off all the drinks and sending us home! Binnie Binnie! Come with meeee!” 

The call hangs up, and all Hyunjin hears is the beeping of the dial tone. He swallows again before standing up and paying for his measly dinner. His stomach is rolling, and he suddenly feels nauseous, but he doesn’t let himself feel sick just yet. He needs to make it home before he can unwind. 

The trip home isn’t like the trip to the Square, his mind filled with nothing but emptiness and the words ‘I forgot!’ coming from Felix. It’s not until he opens, closes, and locks his apartment door does he let himself begin to crumble. It’s when he turns on the shower and strips does he allow himself to sit under the spray of hot water does he let his tears fall from his eyes. 

How could he have been so stupid? 

He should have called. He should have done something to ensure that Felix was going to come because now he’s wasted a day of sitting in front of a fountain just waiting. He should have gone inside to watch his movie by himself, but the possibility of Felix coming out of nowhere kept him rooted in his spot. 

The fountain. 

In his self pity and slight hatred towards himself, he’s forgotten the scene he painted and now everything hurts. Hyunjin cries silently into his knees as the scalding water pelts his back. It wouldn’t be the first time something like this has happened, and surely he knows it won’t be the last. 

Hyunjin hiccups.  

He’s an idiot. 

**Author's Note:**

> twt: @iseemikimouse
> 
> cc: @iseemikimouse


End file.
